whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
