I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
How does one acquire holy water?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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