We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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