sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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