If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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