Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Randomize
