i would punch a child for taco bell
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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