I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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