guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
