Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
