Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
