I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
