I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
