So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The beer is more important than you right now.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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