you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
