i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
