you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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