Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
