walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
