i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
apparently the secret to your success is patron
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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