My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
