She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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