she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Your penis caused this!
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