State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
