i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Randomize