and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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