Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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