nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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