he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
