At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he thought i was a dude.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
