Slut skills are useful in every country.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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