Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dignity is for republicans.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
