And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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