So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
