I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
