I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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