Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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