omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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