I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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