awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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