my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Your penis caused this!
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