i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and thereโs a CVS next to it
Randomize
