She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
