Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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