Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
