Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
