We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
