I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
