i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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