I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We need to rekindle our bromance
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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