In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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