69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
